What is Meditation? (And what it’s not!)

When I started meditating I could barely stay with my breath for a few seconds before my mind wandered. 

I got so frustrated with myself. 

I desperately wanted to meditate like everyone else… but I just couldn’t get rid of my thoughts! 

I was convinced my mind was too busy to meditate. 

Sound familiar? 

Here’s a secret: no one finds meditation easy. If meditation isn’t difficult, you probably aren’t doing it right! 

But it certainly helps knowing what meditation actually is and having a few easy meditation techniques at the ready when you’re starting out. 

And it’s just as important to understand what meditation is not…

What Meditation Is Not

Meditation is not “thinking of nothing”. 

It’s not about “emptying”, “clearing” or “blanking” your mind. 

Thoughts will crop up during your meditation practice. That’s part of being human – it’s inevitable! 

Meditation is not getting rid of your thoughts. It’s about using and working with those thoughts… 

What Is Meditation?

Think about it – you never notice your mind start to wander during meditation, do you? 

It’s almost like you slip into a mini state of sub-conciousness and then – whoooosh – you wake up planning your outfit to this year’s Eurovision party! (Just me?) 

It’s at that moment you notice your mind has (past tense) wandered. And then you bring it back to the breath. 

And there you have it folks – that is meditation. 

1 – You’re with the breath. 

2 – You notice your mind has wandered. 

3 – You come back to the breath (go back to step 1). 

Actually, when you look at it this way, thoughts don’t get in the way of meditation. They’re a necessary part of meditation. 

Step 3 is coming back to the breath – without thoughts, where exactly would you be coming back from…? 

Staying with the Breath

I felt better once I knew I was doing meditation right… but I still didn’t think I was very good at it! 

I struggled to “stay with the breath”. 

Okay, if I’m completely honest, I found my breath a bit boring. 

Counting the breath can help, but here’s a few other meditation techniques I use to jazz it up a bit. 

1 – Positivity In, Negativity Out 

Think of a feeling you want to cultivate during your meditation session, and one that you want to let go of. For example… 

Breathe in calm, stillness, peace. 

Breathe out anxiety. 

2 – Mantras 

Perhaps you have a personal mantra you can say on the out-breath. 

Or an intention for the particular meditation session. 

Use words to anchor the mind. 

3 – Feel the Breath

Quite literally watch and feel the breath. 

See it start as air outside of you, watch it enter through your nose, and feel it move around your body. 

You can even try directing your breath to parts of your body which are tense – use the breath to relax and ease those areas.

4 – Breathing Techniques 

Work with a breathing pattern. 

Take shorter in-breaths and longer out-breaths to help with anxiety. 

Use box breathing for focus and clarity: four seconds in, hold for four seconds, four seconds out. 

Or if you want to increase your energy levels, take longer in-breaths and shoot short puffs out. 

Be More Sheepdog 

I have a favourite Buddhist metaphor for meditation. 

Picture a sheepdog at work in the fields. 

Notice how he doesn’t run directly at the sheep. But he rounds them up if they wander a bit. 

He doesn’t have them all marching in a straight line. But he gets them going broadly in the right direction. 

Maybe you’ll try one of the above meditation tips next time you practise. And maybe you’ll manage to stay with the breath for longer. 

But don’t get angry or frustrated when you catch yourself lost in thought – remember this is what meditation is. 

Simply notice your mind has wandered and, very gently, guide it back towards your breath. 

Be less pitt bull terrier. Be more sheepdog. 

P.s. Sign up here for your free guide to meditation: three guided meditations, plus how to open and close your practice!