How to Turnaround Situations that are out of your Control
My flight had been delayed for three hours…
And at the gate I was in the final group called to board…
Which meant I was on the last bus to get ferried to the plane…
It was one of those days…
After waiting on the bus for some time it dawned on me that we were waiting for the “final stragglers”.
I started to become a bit impatient – as did the five year old girl next to me…
“Whyyyyy is the bus still stopped Daddy?”
“I want to get to the plaaaaane!!”
“But they’re late!! They shouldn’t be allowwwed!!”
I like to think of myself as a mature grown-up, but… my thoughts exactly!
Then I remembered one of the first Buddhist teachings which really made an impression on me:
Changing Your Mind’s Initial Reaction
I couldn’t help that the bus was stood still, but could I change my mind’s reaction to the situation?
Thinking about it…
- I was still connected to Heathrow’s wifi so I could download Taylor Swift’s new album for the flight – hurray! I’d forgotten to do that!
- I had a seven hour flight ahead and if I’d been on an earlier bus I’d already be sat in my seat. As it was, I had extra time to stand and stretch my legs. Maybe get a few lunges in. (Too much?)
The situation hadn’t changed – that was out of my control – but I’d changed my mind’s reaction to it.
Everyday Real Life Situations
Hopefully you won’t be stuck on an airport bus anytime soon, but here’s a few everyday situations that may sound familiar.
1 – Heavy workload
A massive new project comes up at work… and it’s assigned to you.
Perhaps at first you feel overwhelmed – maybe a bit put out.
“Why has this been given to me?”… “This is too much!”
But could you instead see it as a back-handed compliment? Something to feel grateful for?
“My boss must have confidence in me.”… “I’m grateful to have job security”…
2 – Your friend cancels on you
You’re looking forward to catching up with a friend over dinner… but she cancels last minute.
How annoying! If you’d known sooner you wouldn’t have rushed back from work… you could have picked the kids up from school… (etc. etc.)
But can you look at things differently?
“I hope she’s okay – it’s unlike her to cancel at such short notice…”
And now you have an unexpected free evening… even if just to catch up on household chores ahead of the weekend.
3 – Your familiar favourites
You pop into your local coffee haunt but they’re out of syrup for your caramel latte.
Or you forget to book your usual Wednesday night yoga class – now it’s already full.
We all love our familiar favourites. But could you turn your disappointment into excitement to try something new?
Who knows, maybe you’ll find a new favourite…
Re-wiring your Brain
Our minds have a negative bias which is why we often react negatively to situations that are out of our control.
But the good news is that we can re-wire our brains so that our initial reactions become more positive.
Can you make a start on that today?
Notice a situation which is out of your control. And then notice your initial reaction to it. Can you change your mind’s reaction into a more positive one? Can you spot a silver lining?